Can guys and girls ever "just be friends"? Since I was around 10 I have always had really close guy friends. There have been one or two instances where it has gotten a little bit "messy", but for the most part I love having guy friends. They are fun, spontaneous and avoid drama (most of the time). They are also able to give me good insight into the male pschye (is that something I really want to know about...?? sometimes not...) I can go to them for advice, a sort of "he's just not that into you"-thing, and they always tell me the truth because they don't care if they're hurting my feelings. Lately though I have been hearing about these "just friends posers".....and let me tell you, they're very sneaky and they give a bad name to true platonic boy/girl relationships. These jfp's, as I call them, disguise themselves as a platonic friend, but then every once in awhile they pounce on their prey (the friend). The friend is then confronted with proclaimations of love and/or infatuation, and must then have the dreaded "but I just like you as a friend" talk.
Now me and my best guy friend both agree that yes, in the beginning there is some sort of attraction (whether you act on it or not totally sets the stage for the rest of your platonic relationship). But this attraction is based on mutual respect for a fellow "good looking", and does not need to blow up into a full-on lovefest. Furthermore, if it ever does then the enamoured party should not keep it a secret, that is wrong. But these jfp's go around pretending that they're all la-tee-dah happy about being friends, when secretly they're dying inside.
All I have to say is that if he/she didn't like you at first glance, didn't like you after a month or year, and you've never slept with that person chances are that they don't like you like that. Professing your undying love and devotion won't change that, and your friendship will be ruined. Now for jfp victims, stop being selfish and tell that person it will never happen, and if you lose a friend because of it then better luck next time. Stringing someone along and toying with their emotions is wrong no matter how "good looking" he or she may be.
......And could someone please tell me where I am getting that "good looking" thing from? I keep saying it in my head in a low man's voice....I know it must be a movie, but I can't figure out which one? Is it a popular Will Ferrell line maybe? Whoever can tell me where I got it from will win a prize!
I read this the other day and thought it was fabulous, and just made way too much sense. So I must share it with all of you. I will warn you it's kinda dry until the end.....when it all starts to make sense.....
Taken from a Sanskrit fable called "The Creation of Woman":
In the beginning when Twashtri came to the creation of woman, he found that he had exhausted his materials in the making of man and that no solid elements were left. In this dilemma, after profound meditations, he did as follows: He took the rotundity of the moon and the curves of the creepers, and the clinging of the tendrils and the trembling of the grass, and the slenderness of the reed and the bloom of flowers, and the lightness of leaves and the tapering of the elephant's trunk, and the glances of deer and the blustering of rows of bees, and the joyous gayety of sunbeams and the weeping of clouds, and the fickleness of the winds and the timidity of the hare, and the vanity of the peacock and the softness of the parrot's bosom and the hardness of adamant and the sweetness of honey, and the cruelty of the tiger and the warm glow of the fire, and the coldness of snow and the chattering of jays, and the cooing of the kokila, and the hypocrisy of the crane, and the fidelity of shakrawska, and compounding all these together he made a woman and gave her to man. But after one week, man came to him and said: "Lord, this creature that You have given me makes my life miserable. She chatters incessantly and teases me beyond endurance, never leaving me alone; and she requires incessant attention, and takes all my time up, cries about nothing and is always idle, and so I have come to give her back as I cannot live with her." So Twashtri said: "Very well," and He took her back. Then after another week an came to Him and said: "Lord, I find that my life is very lonely since I gave You back that creature. I remember how she used to dance and sing to me and look at me out of the corner of her eye, and play with me and cling to me, and her laughter was music and she was beautiful to look at and soft to touch, so give her back to me." So Twashtri said, "Very well," and gave her back. Then after only three days man came back to Him again and said: "Lord, I know not how it is, but after all I have come to the conclusion that she is more of a trouble than a pleasure to me so please take her back again." But Twashtri said: "Out on you! Be off! I will have no more of this; you must manage how you can." The man said: "I cannot live with her." And Twashtri said: "Neither can you live without her." And He turned His back on man and went on with His work. Then man said: "What is to be done? For I cannot live either with her or without her."
My favourite show just ended. Since June 11th I have been religiously watching the reality tv series, 16 and Pregnant.
I have very firm beliefs that if a couple is "not ready" for a baby than they shouldn't have one. But, having never been in the position that these young couples are in I have decided that my opinion is completely biased and unfair. The show chronicles the lives of 16 year old high school students who "become pregant". Each episode begins with a summary of the pregnant girl's life to date, and ends following the birth and first few weeks of baby being at home. I personally have my own very specific credentials that must be met prior to having children. But it is still left to be decided whether I will actually have them or not!
1. I must be over the age of 30. 2. I must be established in my chosen career field. 3. I must be financially stable (specifically, I must be able to buy my child a brand new car on his/her 16th birthday) 4. I must be in a stable relationship (preferably married)
Now given my "baby" credentials, I became a viewer of this show mainly to pass judgement. I also like to constantly reinforce the idea that children are hard, and no matter how cute they are I am not ready to have them! As the season of "16 and Pregnant" comes to a close I am left wondering how these couples could possibly think that they were "ready for baby". Furthermore, what happens to their own lives once the baby is the focal point of it? What happens to their own dreams and aspirations? Are they willing to give those up in exchange of the ".....and baby makes three?"
Also, given all my credentials, and how these families "accidentally" come about, who's to say which family will be happiest, or even which child will be happiest. When all is said and done, is it better to just live life spontaneously and take each hit as it comes? Or is it more responsible to preplan life milestones, and hold them off until you're ready for them?
In the end, I am rooting for these kids and their babies. But I would still rather buy myself a new purse than a pack of diapers.
I invite discussion on this one......I think it could get very interesting.
Hey Guys!! How much fun is this gonna be?! I am a brand new blogger, and I am so excited! I assume you are probably wondering what my blog is about so I will tell you! Ok people, now it's time to get real and be brutal. My blog is entitled "Love Stinks", and it will discuss anything that relates to males and females and their "romantic" endeavors. I am blunt and honest and I tell it like it is. All of my girlfriends ALWAYS come to me for any of their guy woes, and at times they can be so CLUELESS, but I enjoy filling them in. I have always been told that I "think like a guy"......I am assuming this is because I love the single life, have no strong urge to have kids and basically do not have an emotional bone in my body. I also don't over-analyze situations, get all nervous and weird around guys that I'm into, make prank phone calls "just to hear his voice" (OK, I only did that a couple times), cry because a guy doesn't like me back, go somewhere because "he might be there", web-stalk, car-stalk, on-foot-stalk or any of the other ridiculous things that us girls tend to do to boys or for boys. I am not constantly wandering the streets searching for someone to love me because, quite frankly, I love me enough already! I do not want this blog interpreted as "Christa's rant on why love and dating sucks boo hoo", but I would like to "counsel" my fellow 20-somethings and maybe shed some light on some matters in dating and otherwise (the "otherwise" being when a girl thinks she's in a relationship, but the guy totally doesn't, and this happens ALL THE TIME). It would be good to think of this blog as "The Truth about Romantic Mammals 101". It is sort of Carrie Bradshaw-ish, but I am much more cynical and spare no one's feelings. I personally just do not understand why some people, not all, turn romance/love into this big dramatic theatre piece. All I have to say is "Just cool it!". Lastly, and this is geared towards all of my fabulous ladies, just love yourself before you love anyone else, and don't be with a guy just to "be with a guy". Take it from me... being single and happy is the most empowering thing I think a woman can do! Lastly (for real this time), for the boys, read this blog because you might find out some very interesting things! Lastly (for both sexes) I will be posting MY personal dating shananigans which are always good for a laugh! Ok my peeps.... 3, 2, 1...Blast off! Let's get this Love Stinks blog started! Woo-hoo!
