Can guys and girls ever "just be friends"? Since I was around 10 I have always had really close guy friends. There have been one or two instances where it has gotten a little bit "messy", but for the most part I love having guy friends. They are fun, spontaneous and avoid drama (most of the time). They are also able to give me good insight into the male pschye (is that something I really want to know about...?? sometimes not...) I can go to them for advice, a sort of "he's just not that into you"-thing, and they always tell me the truth because they don't care if they're hurting my feelings. Lately though I have been hearing about these "just friends posers".....and let me tell you, they're very sneaky and they give a bad name to true platonic boy/girl relationships. These jfp's, as I call them, disguise themselves as a platonic friend, but then every once in awhile they pounce on their prey (the friend). The friend is then confronted with proclaimations of love and/or infatuation, and must then have the dreaded "but I just like you as a friend" talk.
Now me and my best guy friend both agree that yes, in the beginning there is some sort of attraction (whether you act on it or not totally sets the stage for the rest of your platonic relationship). But this attraction is based on mutual respect for a fellow "good looking", and does not need to blow up into a full-on lovefest. Furthermore, if it ever does then the enamoured party should not keep it a secret, that is wrong. But these jfp's go around pretending that they're all la-tee-dah happy about being friends, when secretly they're dying inside.
All I have to say is that if he/she didn't like you at first glance, didn't like you after a month or year, and you've never slept with that person chances are that they don't like you like that. Professing your undying love and devotion won't change that, and your friendship will be ruined. Now for jfp victims, stop being selfish and tell that person it will never happen, and if you lose a friend because of it then better luck next time. Stringing someone along and toying with their emotions is wrong no matter how "good looking" he or she may be.
......And could someone please tell me where I am getting that "good looking" thing from? I keep saying it in my head in a low man's voice....I know it must be a movie, but I can't figure out which one? Is it a popular Will Ferrell line maybe? Whoever can tell me where I got it from will win a prize!
Sorry I can’t help you with the “good-looking” quote but I am glad that you have addressed the relationships between males and females. It seems like there is a fine line between friends that acknowledge each other’s appearance and friends that carry some secret attraction to the other. I am assuming that these “jfp’s” have entered your life at some point in time. When they did appear, how did you handle the situation when you found out about their hidden attraction?
ReplyDeleteThank you the comments and question! Yes, I have been a victom of jfp's, and honestly I don't treat them the nicest when they confess their love. Ummmm..... but I usually just stop talking to them and refuse to hang out with them and they get the point. I am pretty harsh when it comes to stuff like that cause I don't like to feel tricked! grrr
ReplyDeleteAdmittedly, my best guy friend (who is markedly older then I am) had a huge crush on me when we first started to become friends; once he made his intentions clear I told him that I wasn't interested and it didn't end our entire friendship. Seven years later and we're still very good friends. If the situation is handled well, I believe that those "JFP" who are definitely secretly "dying inside" (I love that quote) can prove themselves to be good friends if, and only if, they separate their attraction to you from wanting to be legitimate friends with you.
ReplyDeleteI had a JFP once. He was my bestest guy friend in the whole world, and I adored him completely. He was actually one of my exboyfriends good friends, and for that reason among many, I just couldn't picture myself in an actual relationship with him. Our friendship ended in a huge fight, but we reconciled a few months later. Still though, I'd be uncomfortable hanging out with him in fear of sending the wrong message.
ReplyDelete"Good Looking" quote. Possibly from Ben Stiller's "Zoolander"?
"It's not my fault I'm ridiculously good looking"
hahahaa!!!
x0x
thats why you were dancing with him last weekend at a bar lisa?
ReplyDelete